Dear ol’ friend,
“We are so similar, yet so different.”
I said these words to you that one night we stayed up together for the first time, talking endlessly on our beds; back when time didn’t feel so limited. I was still learning what it meant to trust a new friend with my heart, and it began with you that night. Your story inspired me.
We were both young, wondering how our lives would unfold and how we’ll grow. At this chapter of our lives, we were sharing new beginnings and we seemed to be headed the same direction. I can still recall the stupid jokes we’d laugh at, spontaneous explorations of the city, the nights we would cram for our tests until 3 a.m. We did so many things together that I thought we were almost becoming the same person in a way.
Now, memories of you are like an old VHS tape that gathered dust on the corner of my closet. I see a glimpse of it once in a blue moon, and smile instinctively but look away. I don’t replay it often because truthfully, it still stings a little. I know I messed up.
Eventually a time came where my days were blurry and I stumbled every day walking blindly as darkness swallowed me. The voices of my inner demons spoke louder than what anyone told me- including you. At the time, I didn’t know how to cope with all that was going on internally and externally except to shut people out. I was running away from God, and from you. Everything was so painful- I figured I was helping you by pulling myself away.
Between the lines of increased silences, we grew distant. I can see it now – maybe we were breathing the same air for too long. We both took each other for granted.
I still cherish what we had and although we can’t change how things unfolded, I can say I learned a lot about myself through reflecting on our friendship. I wouldn’t say we are like strangers now (although, we basically are), but we are definitely very different people from where we first had that late night conversation. We’ve changed majors, our dreams, and myers briggs personality type lol. Maybe we are still “so similar”. Maybe we can click again and continue where we left off if we tried. Maybe these hypothetical statements are there to comfort the reality that we have already traveled far too down on our own paths.
Well… frick, I feel a mixture of emotions writing this letter. I miss your long bear hugs and motherly tendencies to feed me 24/7. Not many people “over-mother” me, not even now haha. Thank you, really, for being there for me to be a part of a chapter of my life. I’ll always be rooting for you from afar and am grateful for who you were to me back then.
More blurbs like this at Freely Uncovered